I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I deserve this hangover.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
