For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
