brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
