i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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