I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
