I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize