I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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