The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
