I can text with my tongue
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
