My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Four minutes until I can fart!
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
