mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
