i wish my penis had a tongue
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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