That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
