You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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