absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
