You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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