My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
