I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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