so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
