My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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