That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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