am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
