you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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