Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
