Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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