Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
