dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
