Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
