these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
