Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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