So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
