i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
