My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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