1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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