There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
