Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
