new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
