Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
