Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Randomize
