is your mom at the bar?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
