It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
