Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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