Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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