you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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