So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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