ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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