Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
