Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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