Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
