Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
