Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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