and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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