i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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