Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize