I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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