my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
