Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Bring me that man meat
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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