I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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