Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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