brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
