my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
