You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
