I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
