so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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