He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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