i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
